Chi sat on the steps of the big villa, dreaming about the flowers in front of her. Her eyes were fixated on the dirt road and zoomed onto the spot where she usually stopped to listen to the piano music from the white villa.
The piano music fascinated Chi and lured her to notice the design of the garden. It stirred her curiosity to find out who owned the house. Her friends, who lived in Bai Duong fishing village, told her that the white villa was the residence of the most famous celebrity couple of La San hill. Before the catastrophe of 1975, the husband was a professor at Duyên Hai Community College and his wife was a music professor at a High School in Nha Trang city. After 1975, the couple stopped teaching. They became reclusive. Nobody saw them appear outside of their villa. They kept their distance from neighbors. Her friends also told her that this couple did not communicate with their neighbors because the large distance between the villas isolated each house while the height of these villas created big gaps amongst the small houses, in which resided the fishermen families of Bai Dương. Her friends made her think that they, the poor children of the fishing village, could never walk into the special garden of this mysterious academic couple. It seemed miraculous, however, that she was now sitting in front of their house where she could enjoy the Western design of the garden.
Six months ago, when she and her friends, Tu, Cuong, Le, and Chut, were wandering to collect snails along the beach from Bai Duong beach to Hon Chong, a tall 18-year-old young man stopped them and asked for directions to La San hill. Tu, Cuong Le, who were all boys, gave this young man a weird look while Chut, a girl, giggled. Her friends’ rudeness disturbed her. She knew they were mocking the young man because they didn’t believe that he did not know the way from Bai Duong beach to La San hill. They assumed that this young man was asking for directions for no other reason than to talk to Chi. Chi has an affinity for old-fashioned clothes and a well-shaped figure with a lovely face. Strangers talked to her just to make friends. Just thinking about her friends’ assumption, she became upset. She wanted to do the opposite of what they thought even though she might upset them. She carefully told him the directions to La San hill, to Bai Duong beach, to Hon Chong and even to the road to the coconut booth on the rocky slope of Hon Chong, where her mother was working for Ms. Ba.
After that, this young man would often go up to the booth on Hon Chong to find her. His name was Khoi Nguyen, the only son of a couple who lived in a white mansion with purple flowers called Angelonia on La San hill. Before April 1975, Khoi Nguyen lived in Saigon with his paternal uncle to attend Petrus Ky High School. After April 30, 1975, when Khoi Nguyen's uncle's family followed a mass evacuation escaping the country, he had to return to Nha Trang with his parents. He said that when he was a child, he went to a French school in Nha Trang but he moved to Saigon to study in the famous high school there. Although he studied in the French school as a little boy, he loved to read both Vietnamese and French books, enjoyed both Vietnamese and French food and played French, American and Vietnamese music. Living in Saigon was the most interesting and meaningful time in his life because he had friends who loved music. He and they were not professional musicians but they often gathered to play popular and contemporary music. The music made both players and listeners think the earth was a paradise of love, desire and wonder. That time was also interesting to him because he had a very beautiful girlfriend named Minh Tuyet. He had to overcome many charming and talented boys to win her affection. She was a very beautiful girl who had been educated in French school since she was little. However, Minh Tuyet was gone. With her family, she left Saigon before the Northern communist troops attacked the capital of South Vietnam. Since Minh Tuyet left the country, he no longer had any pleasure in this world. His soul became empty and he felt very lonely. The loneliness led him to wander on the hills of La San, along the coast of Bai Duong to the high rock formations of Hon Chong. Sometimes, he would wander the whole day without thinking of the way home.
Through the words that Khoi Nguyen confided, Chi gradually learned his biography by heart, his background, and his emotions. This made her wonder why Khoi Nguyen chose her to be like his diary. Any time she looked at his clean high collar and his straightened shirt that was tucked into his long pants, she would look back at her old outfit and feel embarrassed. She thought his stories were like the beautiful words written on a shabby notebook with rough paperboard, yellowed pages illustrating some awkward patterns. She did not understand why Khoi Nguyen chose her to talk about day in and day out about his life without getting bored. She assumed that he was too lonely to have considered her as a fulcrum, whom he had just met, to seek sympathy, or to forget the sadness that was carved in his heart. Whenever he met her, she was embarrassed. She was uncomfortable about her clothes and, therefore, she was often silent and refrained from talking about herself. Later on, she became more open. She told him that her name was Chi, which means “Older Sister”. She also told him that she had two younger siblings. Her younger sister was named Em, which means “Little Sister” and her youngest brother was named Ti. Their full names were Nguyen Thi Chi, Nguyen Thi Em and Nguyen Van Ti. Raised in the fishing village, she and her friends never had middle names or the beautiful names like other friends from middle-class families. She was so lucky that she had a special name, Chi. When her parent made a birth certificate for her, the officials forgot the period symbol “nặng”(.) therefore, instead of having the regular name Chi, she got a special name Chi.
She did not attend a French schools but she was a good student at Van Hoa High School in Nha Trang. She did not know how to play a musical instrument, but she knew how to enjoy great music. She confided to him that she loved the piano music from the villa of Khoi Nguyen and liked to see the purple flowers near by the fence that her friends often called Purple Flowers. Khoi Nguyen said Purple Flowers were wild flowers that covered La San hill, therefore nobody wanted to plant them in their garden. His mother planted them in the garden because they were officially named Angelonia (Ngoc Han), her own name. He also told Chi the piano s that Chi often listened to from his villa was played by his mother during her leisure time. He then promised to take her to his villa so that she could have access to what she loved. With this promise, he brought her to his villa.
Khoi Nguyen came out from the house with his guitar. He sat down next to Chi and played one song after another. Suddenly, he stopped playing the guitar and asked Chi:
“Do you like listening to my music?”
“Yes, I do!”
“But you do not seem to pay much attention!”
“Uh…That's true! It’s because I am watching those purple flowers.”
“Do you like to receive the flowers?”
Chi shook her head:
“Yes, but… no! Actually I don't know. No one has ever given flowers to me!”
“So you haven’t had a boyfriend yet?”
“Yes, but no one gave flowers to me!”
Her cheeks turned red. She was about to add:
“This fishing village has no one who could think of giving flowers like the boys from the French schools!” She stopped just in time and listened attentively to the melodious piano sounds coming from inside the house. The melody from the piano made her forget all Khoi Nguyen's questions. She felt her body was lighted in a thin white silk dress. Then her body was raised and guided gently down the steps as if she had been walking gracefully on the gravel patch to the lines of purple flowers. In a jubilant state, she was swirling around to the beat of the music while spinning her white dress high and higher. The skirt spun many times and its white bodice fluttered like silk, skimming over the purple flowers. Purple petals followed the thin white silk flap, fluttering in the breeze, fluttering the butterflies nearby. Both flowers and butterflies intertwined, flying everywhere as if they were spinning in a soothing music. She spread her arms to the petals which were flying like confetti; people would throw to greet couples on the day of their wedding. The colors of the flowers made her think that she was a lovely princess, fluttering in the dreamy wonderland. She laughed delightedly while dancing in the middle of the flower garden. Suddenly, the sound of the piano stopped and the sound of the lid closing softly made her wake up. She reviewed what she had dreamed, then realized the girl in a white dress was the image of Minh Tuyet, Khoi Nguyen's girlfriend, not her. Minh Tuyet was a girl whom she had never met but her image was engraved into her thoughts right after Khoi Nguyen confided his love story.
She turned to look at Khoi Nguyen and smiled. Khoi Nguyen looked at her with surprise and for some reasons; he smiled at her in a witty way. He was about to ask her something, but before he could, he had to stand up to receive two pieces of cake from his mother. Ms. Ngoc Han asked him to invite her to eat the cupcakes. They were made by his mother’s own hands. She was touched when she received the cake from Khoi Nguyen and started to eat slowly. They both ate silently with each person pursuing their own thoughts. Chi was thinking of the beautiful manner of Khoi Nguyen’s mother. Her heart was touched by a gentle woman. She thought she loved Ms. Ngoc Han as well as the music from her piano, even though she did not know what kind of music Ms. Ngoc Han had been playing.
The afternoon breeze brought the moisture of the salty sea water, making Chi remember her friends’ habits. On the moonlit evenings, her friends would often invite her to bring tea and cookies to the high rocks of Hon Chong while watching the moon. At times like that, they usually had cheap biscuits and cheap cookies with brown sugar and no vanilla like the cake she was enjoying now. She wondered if she would allow her young sister and her young brother to join her in this villa to enjoy what she had, but then she was sure that they would not accept. She knew they wouldn’t want to feel awkward as she was feeling now.
After satisfying her curiosity and desire by visiting Khoi Nguyen's house, Chi did not think about coming back to his home. She was aware that when she stood on the dirt road in front of Khoi Nguyen's villa watching the blooming flowers and listening to the sound of his mother's piano, she was more interested than when she was sitting in his house. The longer she sat in a luxurious and expensive house, the more she felt her poverty and inferiority of her family. How could her mother be equal to Khoi Nguyen's mother? From this thought, she was certain that she would never return to that house for a second time and never let go of her shabby home in the fishing village. In order to distance herself from him, Chi told her mother that she wanted to go back to school. She wanted to continue in the eleventh grade, the class she left unfinished in the previous school year. Instead of going to work at the booth, she stayed at home to cook rice, carry water, and take care of her younger sister and brother. Her mother agreed with her suggestion because business at the coconut booth was very slow anyway.
After two weeks of not going to the booth, nor even passing the villa with purple flowers, Chi felt comfortable and peaceful with the regular life that she had been familiar with since childhood. However, with each passing day, sadness piled up inside her heart. The sadness was not from an absence of Khoi Nguyen, but because she had no friends to hang around with like before. Her friends in her neighborhood shut her off. Chut moved out of the village with her family and relatives in Ma Vong Nha Trang to sell snacks on the train. This news was shared by Chi’s neighbors. Chut did not say goodbye to her. As for Tu, Cuong and Le, they left the village to follow the boats escaping the country. They silently piggy-backed on the boats that left the fishing village without saying a word to her. She felt hurt because she never experienced her friends’ lack of communication. They would never hide anything from her. She didn't know why they changed, but when she reviewed what happened in the previous days, she found out the answer. She remembered during the time she was close to Khoi Nguyen, her friends had gradually ostracized her. They no longer wanted to be around her when they found out that he was from a different social class. They no longer wanted to go to her house or go to the coconut booth to invite her to go fishing or catching crabs. It happened since Khoi Nguyen often came to the booth to be friends with her. During that time and probably the time when they knew the boats were planning to cross the sea, they had to keep it a secret until they could piggy-backed with those boats! Of course, they couldn't trust her when they found out she was being friendly to a stranger. The more she recalled, the angrier she became. She was upset with her friends and she was upset with herself as well. After a while she comforted herself by imagining the bright future of her friends in other countries. She felt happy when she imagined her friends had opportunities to help their families to escape from poverty. She then felt sad about her family’s unfortunate fate. How could she help her family escape from selling the coconuts in the booth while her father's death by storm when he was fishing with his fish man friends was still an obsession in her mind? Suppose her friends told her the date and time the boats were about to leave, she could not follow them. She could not swim well. If she had to swim far to the point where the boat waited, she would be exhausted immediately, and she would sink under the sea, making her mother as miserable as the time when she lost her father! Her friends probably knew her swimming inability, another reason they did not tell her.
Thinking about all of the negative stuff, the sadness increased in Chi’s mind. She became very quiet and depressed. One day, when Ms. Ba and her mother asked her to look after the booth because they had some important things to do, she agreed.
After the Fall of Sai Gon, there were few tourists visiting Hon Chong, Nha Trang. Most people focused on earning a living or just surviving, rather than traveling. Only two local clients came to the coconut booth and then left, making Chi felt extremely bored and lonely. Looking at the neatly placed bottles of soft drinks on the shelves, the cups were tucked neatly in trays, spoons and straws in the containers, the lemons lined up, the white sugar jars filled and the machetes lying next to the fresh coconuts, she thought she could serve more than a dozen visitors at the same time quickly. No clients appeared. Chi wished she had friends to come so she could make free lemonade for them.
She thought of Khoi Nguyen. If Khoi Nguyen came to her coconut booth like in the previous days, his conversations would make her happier. With this thought, she glanced at the wooden table at the farthest corner, where she and Khoi Nguyen used to sit and talk.
There was a bouquet of Purple flowers lying on the table. Chi could not believe her eyes. She stood up, walked towards the table, picked the bouquet up, and looked around in shock. The bouquet full of small purple flowers was still fresh, indicating that had just on the table for an hour or less. She wanted to call someone's name to make sure there was no one else but her. However, when she looked around carefully, no one was around the booth. She turned back and looked down. There was no one on the stacked rocks near or far. Even so, she was not reassured. Afraid of being noticed holding the bouquet from the table, she hurriedly put the bouquet back to its place and went back to the counter to sit still. She asked thousands of questions in her mind but could not find a single answer.
After a while, Ms. Ba returned to the booth. She told her to go home because her mother needed her. Saying goodbye to Ms. Ba, Chi walked home. On the way home, Chi was constantly thinking of a bouquet of Purple flowers and Khoi Nguyen. She then noticed that Khoi Nguyen was going in the opposite direction.
She stopped and asked, “Where are you going?” “I'm looking for you!” “How could you find me? You don't know where to find me?” She asked while still walking. Khoi Nguyen smiled when following her. He said, “Everything’s under my nose, I just need to ask and find out! Moreover, how many houses are there in Bai Duong fishing village! A very few! Just ask and it will be! ”
“Have you found my house yet?” “I didn’t think you would agree so I went back!” Chi was silent and unresponsive. She bowed her head. For a moment she said in a husky voice: “I am so sad these days that I do not want to contact anyone!” “Why?” “All my friends have escaped the country! They knew where the people organized the border crossing, so they whispered to each other for a piggy back!” Khoi Nguyen was excited: “Were they successful?” “Yes, they were! They are so lucky!” “So you should be happy for them!” “Yes, I'm glad but ...” “But you feel abandoned, right? That’s exactly how I felt when everyone left Saigon!” Chi nodded: “Right! I feel abandoned! Truly abandoned! ” She shed tears and said, "My friends, Tu, Cuong and Le always said they love me most in the world but now three of them left me without saying a word!” “Did they leave on the same boat?” “No! They were on two different boats! Two different evacuations that they kept secret! They are very bad! They told me they love me but they left without me! There are no words for this!” Khoi Nguyen stopped walking, held Chi's hands, shook hard, and said: “Don't think about them! Go back to Hon Chong with me. We’ll go back to the sea! You and I will swim away. Then I'll drown you down for a few sips of seawater to fade away your sadness! We need to wash away all the sadness! Go back to Hon Chong and swim with me, Chi!” Chi shook her head, removed his hand, and said: “No, I cannot! I must go home! Ms. Ba said my mother needs me!” “Then let me come to your home another day!” “OK! When you have time, go to my fishing village and ask where Ms. Be’s house is. Everyone will show you where I live! Now I have to go!” After those words, Chi walked as fast as she could, without turning back to see if Khoi Nguyen went back to La San hill or still stood watching her.
Just arriving home, Chi stopped in the doorway because of the guitar sound coming from inside. Surprisingly, she stepped quickly inside. In the corner of the house, on her bed, her young sister and young brother were sitting close to a short-haired girl who was holding a guitar. The girl paused her smooth white fingers on the strings and smiled at her: “Sister Chi! Do you recognize me?” She hesitantly walked up to the girl, and then shouted: “Oh my God! Is this you Mai Thu? You are so big, so beautiful! I wouldn’t recognize you if I met you on the street!” Mai Thu shrugged and smiled: “When I met you in Sai Gon, I was only six years old. It's been over ten years! ” After saying that, the girl placed the guitar on the bed and walked over to her beside her shoulder. “Now I am nearly as tall as you!” Chi nodded and concurred: “Right! I'm just a few years older than you but always thought you were a little girl who never grew up! Maybe you’re the same age as Em, so when I look at Em who is so thin and skinny, I don't think you've become a young lady like this.” Em smiled: “Thankfully I’m skinny so tonight your mother's bed can accommodate one more person, sister!” Her mother came up from the kitchen and said, “That’s right! Tonight Chi sleep with Em and me, and the bed is for Mai Thu. Ti can spread mats on the floor and sleep on it like he usually does!” Chi was surprised and sad. She faintly thought about the changing lives of her family in the coming days, asked: “Does that mean that Mom had to go pick Mai Thu to our house this afternoon? But why did Mai Thư come to Nha Trang alone, not to go with Aunt Khang? What’s up?" Her mother answered with a serious face: “Uncle Khang is busy working and cannot go to Nha Trang, so he sends Mai Thư to our home for a while before Mai Thu goes away. For the time being, I only knew that Mai Thư came to my house to spend the summer vacation. If people in the neighborhood asked anything, you should just answer like that! Do not say anything more things lest people suspect her get involved in the plan of escaping by boat! From now on, you will sleep with me and your baby sister Em. Your bed is for Mai Thu now!” Chi was silent but sad. The rickety bed that she owned since Ti wanted to sleep on the floor had now belonged to another person who lived totally different way from hers. She wondered why Uncle Khang let Mai Thu live in her house and did not understand why Mai Thu agreed to stay in a house with as many difficulties as hers.
Before April 1975, Uncle Khang's family never came to her house. Uncle Khang was a famous businessman in Saigon. His house was fully furnished with a model bathroom, servants, and children with tutors to learn many subjects including music. Now under the corrugated tole-roofed house, Mai Thu will rely on the water buckets that she carries from the public water well far away from her home, have to use wood for cooking and must help her mother to earn a living every day. She recalled Uncle Khang’s house, Mai Thu’s bedroom, and the feeling of being afraid to sit in their dining room and living room. Her father reminded her to not upset her uncle and his wife. Since her father died, her mother rarely contacted her father's relatives. Her mother did not contact Uncle Khang because she was afraid of being suspected of borrowing money or asking for help. Chi did not mind communicating with rich or poor people, far or close relatives, but she was wondering how uncle Khang contacted her mother and why he allowed Mai Thu to live in her house. She guessed Mai Thu was staying in her house temporarily to wait for the boats that are going to cross the sea but she did not show what she thought to keep her mother from worrying. She silently obeyed everything her mother told her to do. Em and Ti care freely followed Mai Thu. They asked her to play the guitar and sing for them. In their free time, they invited each other to the sea for swimming and sunbathing.
Since Mai Thu was in the house, her mother did not send Chi to the coconut booth. Her mother, on the other hand, bought more food than before and sometimes gave her money after cooking rice, washing clothes, cleaning house or carrying water. Chi guessed that uncle Khang provided money to her mother to take care of Mai Thu. Therefore, her mother had more money than before. In a cheerful mood, Chi felt her life was much happier than before.
Khoi Nguyen often went to the fishing village to look for Chi. He often confided in her about his future plans. He decided to enroll in 12th grade in Nha Trang so that after he graduated from high school, he would go back to Saigon to take the University entrance exams. She told him that she would apply for 11th grade and would also get a high school diploma before pursuing something practical, maybe as a nurse.
In the following days, Khoi Nguyen was still coming to Chi’s house but the conversations between Khoi Nguyen and Chi diminished. He often talked to Mai Thu, sang songs with Mai Thu and went to the beach with Mai Thu because he and Chi had nothing to say. In addition, Chi did not know anything about singing and could not swim as far with him as Mai Thu. Each time she looked at them, she thought of Minh Tuyet and imagined Mai Thu in Minh Tuyet's image. Mai Thu may be better than Minh Tuyet because she has a perfect beauty.
Once when going back to the beach, Mai Thu said she stood in front of the bathroom to watch for when she needed to take a fresh water bath, she accidentally looked through the gap of the bamboo grove and was stunned by the beautiful body of Mai Thu. The plump white chest, the slender back that flowed from the small waist down to Mai Thu's well-rounded bottom haunted her incessantly. She thought of her and her younger sister's body and shook her head. Neither she nor her sister could have such a beautiful body. How could children who lived in such difficult conditions have the same physique as children who lived in a family full of material wealth and spirituality?
Then she thought of the wild purple flowers on the hillside of La San and flowers in the sky named Ngoc Han in Khoi Nguyen's villa. Apparently she preferred to look at the well-cared flowers in the villa than the wild and shaky wild flowers. Was she not the image of the well-cared Angolia Ngoc Han in the beautiful willa but the image of one of wild purple flowers on the hillside of La San? And because of that, people just gave her a quick glimpse than a prolong admiration?
Despite such reasons, Chi was surprised when Khoi Nguyen confessed to her that he loved Mai Thu. The purple flower bouquet on the wooden table, the hand shaking and the urge to invite her to the sea for alleviating her sorrow suddenly appeared in Chi’s mind. They made her confused and bewildered. She console herself that those actions were natural for boys who grew up influenced by the Western culture at French schools; therefore, she pretended to casually tease him that he should call her “Big Sister” because Mai Thu was her younger sister cousin. Since then, Chi avoided him when Khoi Nguyen came to the house. She wanted to give him the opportunity to get close to Mai Thu. Mai Thu fitted very well with Khoi Nguyen, so she responded to his love right after his confession. They were often together like love birds. When looking at them together, Chi understood that Khoi Nguyen had found what he had lost after he left Saigon. She just did not know if Mai Thu confessed to Khoi Nguyen that she was waiting for her day to cross the sea and whether Khoi Nguyen's love was enough to keep her from thinking about leaving him just like Minh Tuyet.
She just knew well that she was deepened with sorrow. The image of a spinning white silk skirt with petals of purple flowers fluttering and falling everywhere was in her every thought. She remembered that from when she was little until she grown up, she had never been in a dress or a skirt, neither a white dress.
