Hue anxiously waited. She lay on her side with her back to Vuong and tried to guess what he was doing by the sounds. Hue heard her heart beat so hard that the blood vessels at her temple jerked loudly, she wished she could make it stop. She was afraid that Vuong would hear it. But it seemed that Vuong was even more afraid than she was, his movements were slow and gentle. He was afraid she would wake up...and she was afraid he would know she was awake.
Finally, Hue heard the sounds as Vuong got out of bed. After that she heard nothing more until the door creaked softly. Hue waited another minute before daring turning to lie on her back. She pressed her hand on her chest to calm the heart beats, forcing it to slow down. The pain and anger made Hue cry even though she was not sad or afraid...no…Hue was no longer afraid. It's already happened, it's already past the point of tolerance. Let's clear things up and let the chips fell where they might.
She slowly sat up, and gently opened the bedroom door that Vuong had carefully closed after leaving. She leaned back against the wall and listened. The house was dark, once in a while the sound of a car heard passing by. The night was so quiet that Hue could hear the noises of the next room, where she walked slowly to, her back pressed against the wall, her heart pounding, her anger at its peak, and her knees seemed to fall.
Hue put her ear on the door of the next room, the sound came out clearly, exposing. Clutching her fist, she suddenly pushed it open and stepped in...and she was readily let out a loud shout. Her mouth was wide open...but not even a tweet came out...the sound was blocked in her throat. The room was empty! The soft light emanating from the model house Vuong bought, placed on the corner table, radiated a very pleasant pale yellow light illuminating the empty room.
The noise that Hue heard was still there and clearer, it was coming from the model house. Hue was caught up in the mystery and curiosity. She took a cautious step towards it. The small house about the size of an iPad seemed to slowly grow with each step she approached, and when she reached the table, all she needed was to bend slightly. Everything was there, very clear, very real. Through the window she witnessed what was happening inside. ...she saw Vuong in it.
What Vuong was doing made Hue's blood boil. She didn't care to think about the strange things that were happening. All her attention was on them. Vuong was sitting on the ground, massaging that woman’s feet. She sat on a chair, next to the dining table as Hue had seen daily, but instead of resting her chin on her hand in a sad pose, she now sat comfortably, leaning back on the chair, stretching her feet for Vuong to massage. And Vuong...he arched his back like a servant, gently massaged and said something, his voice full of flattery. The woman replied, shuffling her caustic voice, but Vuong's voice was worse, flattery... despicable.
The anger pained her chest where the heart was located, she was no longer afraid that Vuong knew she was watching. She immediately wanted to reach into that model house, grab Vuong's neck and throw him out and give that woman a slap in the face...but Hue tried to hold back, she wanted to know what they said. She wanted to know why Vuong betrayed. She wanted to hear Vuong badmouthed his wife with his own mouth, even though it would break her heart. She wanted to hear the scorns that woman gave Vuong, even though she just wanted to be the only one to have that right.
The two of them were immersed in their world and unaware of Hue's presence. She pulled a chair closer, sat down to follow up, now Hue heard the conversation clearly.
"...does your leg still hurt a lot?"
"I don't need you to massage my feet, don't pretend that you love me, care for me."
Hue was startled, that caustic voice sounded very familiar, but the anger quickly banished that memory. Why did that woman dare to talk that way to her husband? And then her attitudes, just like a mistress to her servant. Didn’t matter how abusive he got, Vuong still lowered his head and continued to massage her feet as if nothing had happened. The anger came shaking Hue’s whole body; her hand raised up uncontrollable, unconsciously, and before it could land, the woman turned around and looked up, she was face to face with Hue, and smiled… challengelly.
Once seeing her face, Hue froze, the hand was still raised up in the air, she overheard Vuong said to the young woman…, yes…very young woman,
"I don't flatter, I wish I could massage your feet all my life, I've done many bad things to you..."
2. THE BLUE MODEL HOUSE
The shop had a strange attraction that appealed to Vuong only because when he entered he found himself as the only guest. He liked it that way, more freedom to wander around. He could closely examine many strange goods that were displayed in a disorganized manner without any interference. The shop was hot and stuffy in the summer. The shop owner, apparently Indian or Middle Easterner, lazily leaned back in his swivel chair, enjoying the cool breeze from the fan on the counter, seemingly doing something on his old computer, not paying any attention to Vuong, the sole customer.
The shop had four rows of shelves, two by the walls, and two in the middle, back by back, among them, two aisles. The four shelves filled with strange items like no other. However, they all had one unique subject: They all had a person in them, and those people were in some kind of 'encirclement', mostly in houses, but they were also in a variety of weird 'encircles', like inside the water pillars, trees,... But in any situation, the main character in every item had an unhappy face or posture.
Vuong was curious to see each item one by one, then he suddenly froze as his eyes met a small house about the size of an iPad. The house looked so familiar though Vuong couldn't remember immediately. He bent down to pick it up, found an empty spot on the shelf, and set it down to observe. It was a model of a track house which was commonly found in the United States, the model house painted in blue. The blue color reminds Vuong of the old house he had many years ago. The more Vuong looked at it, the more he remembered his old house; a strange feeling he didn't have when he first saw it. Vuong rotated the model house around and looked closely at every detail. Suddenly he noticed that there was a human model sitting at the dining table that he had not seen before. Vuong thought he missed it because everything inside was so small. Based on her long black hair and figure, Vuong guessed it was an Asian woman. Mrs. or Ms. model bowed her head, resting her chin on her right hand, looking somber.
Everything had something familiar that piqued Vuong's curiosity. He turned the model house around trying to see the woman's face, but couldn't. Everything was too small to see in detail...but it didn't seem to be that way...there was something odd that made Vuong think he couldn't see the woman's face because she didn't want him to! That strange feeling stimulated Vuong even more, he looked at her from every angle, through every window until his eyes were tired. The secret yet familiar model woman urged Vuong to buy the toy house.
He brought it to the counter. The shopkeeper glanced at it absently then said,
“Five hundred, cash.”
Vuong was stunned, he thought the owner had confused it with something else. Vuong made sure he saw the model house one more time then checked,
"Five hundred???"
Still comfortably leaned back in the chair without even looking at Vuong, he repeated,
“Yes, five hundred cash.”
Vuong wanted to swear, the item was not worth more than $20; how the hell would he demand it for five hundred? He suppressed his anger and tried to negotiate the price in his cutest voice,
"That’s too expensive, Mister, you already made a lot even at thirty. Can you give it to me for twenty five?”
The shop owner's face remained unchanged, he acted as if he didn't care that the shop was empty like a haunted house, and his goods were nothing special. He also didn't want to please his customer.
“Five hundred bucks in cash.”
His nonchalant attitude as if nothing in the world was worth his attention, even on the video game that he was playing on his old computer. While looking for a reason to lower the price, Vuong scanned around and saw he was moving the desktop’s mouse, casually pressed on it at a certain face appeared on the monitor, one after the other. Vuong was a bit interested to see the person selected, apparently frozen while the rest was still moving. Thinking maybe it was some kind of video game, Vuong didn't pay attention anymore. He tried to plead for a reasonable price, but after a few times he knew that was impossible, Vuong turned and strode out of the door. He didn't want the shopkeeper to know how much he liked the blue house, but as he was a few steps away, Vuong slowed down and glanced back at it regretfully.
For the whole week after that day, Vuong was always restless, at first he didn't know what was wrong. Then gradually it became obvious, each passing hour the image of the woman sitting in the kitchen of the blue model house became more and more real to the point that Vuong dreamed of her. Except for the face she wanted to hide, Vuong clearly felt her grief. It was so real that one morning when he woke up, Vuong found his pillow was a bit wet.
Vuong returned to the shop and decided to buy the blue model house. For some unknown reason, he didn't pay attention to the price even though he was normally a miser.
The shopkeeper didn't bother to pack the item for Vuong, he threw five hundred-dollar bills into the opened drawer, and said to Vuong,
"You shouldn't buy it."
Vuong did not answer, just mumbled two words, “Thank you.” He carefully placed the model house into the car, but his heart was heavy with a sadness which he couldn’t fathom, "When I didn’t have it, I felt like some heavy things were on my chest. Now that I have it, I feel even worse. Why???"
The model house was located next to the couple's bedroom, and Vuong’s attachment to it grew by the day. He saw the house becoming more and more real, but the woman still wanted to hide her face, she was looking even sadder. His dreams of a woman with a hazy face and voice haunted Vuong, and his pillow got wetter and wetter.
Hue did not object when Vuong rearranged the next room to accommodate the model house, though she hated it. The room was rarely used, but she always had kept it neatly, and her regular cleaning was wasted since Vuong had used it for himself and the blue model house.
At first, when Hue saw that Vuong spent many hours daily on it, she complained angrily. Then she saw his reactions to her critics, he withdrew himself into a cocoon, deaf and mute to the world around him. Feeling sympathy, Hue left him alone for a while; however, the situation got worse. It was clear that Vuong was having a psychological problem that he didn’t seem to know. She decided to follow up to find out the root cause.
Normally, Hue slept well, Vuong's nocturia usually didn’t trouble her until that night. Maybe the changes in Vuong, may be the haunted model house that made it difficult for Hue to sleep. One night when Vuong went to the restroom, instead of leaving the bed noisily as usual, he seemed extra careful with his movement. Sensing that arousing Hue’s suspicions, she pretended to be sleeping tight. Her whole body tensed while all its senses followed Vuong's every step to the next room. More than an hour later, Vuong returned, tossing and turning; Hue was just the same; it was almost morning when she could sleep again.
The next day, Hue immediately used an excuse to examine the room and the model house inch by inch while Vuong stayed clear of it. Her instinct told the woman who sat at the table might be the cause, but like Vuong, Hue couldn't tell who she was. She searched her memory for all the women Vuong had ever known, though this one looked so familiar yet so vague that she couldn't recall whom.
Before that for a whole month, Vuong took advantage of Hue's easy and tight sleep, he took advantage of his nocturia to enter the next room many times every night without her knowing anything. Finally, the house had become 'real' to Vuong, he was able to enter and meet 'her'.
Hue's whole body froze, arm was still high in the air, the girl turned to look at her and smiled defiantly. Hue was about to accept all consequences, including the fact that her hand might be injured when hitting the wood, accept the possibility that Vuong would protect that girl against her,..Hue was willing to accept anything just to give the girl a slap…but couldn’t…she was frozen...because that girl was herself. Yes, that girl was Hue many years ago, so young and beautiful that she even fell in love with her...
Vuong saw 'her' unusual behavior and looked up toward the window. Vuong saw Hue's hand raised in the air, motionless. Vuong saw mixed emotions welling up in Hue's eyes. Vuong’s soul followed Hue's footsteps back to their bedroom.
That night in their family room, Vuong drank most of the beers he bought to drink for several years, since he would be drunk usually with just one can. Hue went in and out a few times checking on him to see if he was okay, but let him drink. When more than half a case of beer was gone, Vuong began to vomit, cry, and babble, sometimes not even realizing that Hue was standing nearby. When the whole case of beer almost gone, he seemed to know nothing, had nothing left to vomit except for the slimy white water like drool, he cried out loud incessantly
supplicately, flattery, regrettably, ..., into space. Hue waited for him to repeat a same sentence more than a dozen of times before questioning,
"What did you do to me that time, remember?"
“I remember…I remember…”, Vuong groaned, “…I remember for the rest of my life…I regret it for the rest of my life, I can't understand how I could be so stupid. How could I let you go to work that far? How could I insist you had to be home early every day, not seeing that you might be in danger along the way…how…how….”
“Ah…so it was that.”
At noon of the next day, Vuong woke up, his head hurt like being hit by a hammer, after a while he realized where he was, and vaguely remembered what had happened last night. Throwing the blanket on the floor, Vuong realized that he was lying on the sofa, with a pillow and blanket. He scrambled to sit up, looked around and saw that everything was clean as always, all the dirty things disappeared like a miracle, it had been that way since he had Hue. Only the house was eerily quiet. Vuong stood up and walked around the house, Hue was not at home, he went back to sit on the sofa. Just then he saw Hue's handwritten letter on the coffee table in front of the sofa. Trembling, he picked up the letter and read it.
“Honey, I hope this is the last time I have to write to you. I hope you understand what I mean. I hope you will follow what I wrote here.
Last night was a horrible night for me. This whole month I have lived in doubt, sadness, fear and anger...but last night was the peak of all. We have lived in peace for a long time, we have not had major conflicts for a long time. I'm old, I don't think I can stand another drama one more time. Luckily everything turned out a lot better than I thought (except for the vomit you threw up).
I thought you had a mistress...but no...but yes, truly yes. Yes, you actually betrayed me, you had a mistress...even if she was me. Yes, even she was me, but she is not me now, so I'm jealous of her, so I don't want you to think about her, pamper her. I just want you to pamper me, now, in the future, and forever. No one can change the past no matter how much you bow to it.
If you made some bad mistakes in the past, you can only make up for it, redeem it now and then. How’s about repaying me now, even a little bit, how’s about listening to me once, I will waive you that debt. Think about it, you could pay a million times more, "it" still won't forgive you. The past is sometimes very cruel.
I thought it was a dreadful sin that tormented you, I thought you hid some abominable sins from me, you had done something shocking, so it torments you until now. I didn't expect that was the thing that torments you, I forgot it a long time ago. It's not as important to me as a thousand other things you have annoyed me, like you ignored me when I talked.
Don't you remember at that time you comforted and begged me? Don't you remember I only pushed you away 4 or 5 times? Don't you remember that night when I hugged you and slept well? When I woke up in the morning, it was all a memory. As long as I know that you still care for me and love me, I can do anything, including forgive you. It was a small thing, I forgot it a long time ago, why do you have to remember it? You men are so strange, remember things that are insignificant, but can't remember the memorable things!
What I want you to do from now on is always be by my side, always make me happy, always listen to me, always love me… DO NOT confine yourself to any place, or time without letting me know. No one can be happy if the person they love is not happy, and no one can lead a happy life without letting go of the haunting past.”
